The balance between surrender & pursuit

Many high-level coaches arrive at the stage of coaching their athlete right before a Major Championship to say, ‘you just need to let it happen now.’

In other words, it can be translated to:

“You have worked tirelessly for the past year, but now at the most important time I want you to not think about all that you have learned. In fact, if you think too much, you will get in the way of your body actually performing and showing all the work we’ve done.”

What a complex but beautiful request! It seems a bit of an oxymoron. Pursue it fiercely, but then back off when you actually have to perform?

So, for life, not just High Jump, I am writing my process of what surrendering and pursuing something looks like.

Surrender

Questions to consider when surrendering something:

  • What am I letting go and who am I following?
  • Am I satisfied with where I am and where I am heading?
  • If I have surrendered it, what are my next steps?

To let go of a dream, goal, lifestyle, connection or passion often puts pain in our hearts and minds – because a lot of time, enjoyment and purpose has been invested into it. I want to tell you today, that to surrender something is to loosen your control over it.

A pastor once told me that if I am so arrested by my dreams, it will fail me, because they aren’t big enough to carry me.

When you believe in God, is simply to place it into His hands and take your own grip off it. It is to relinquish the control that you have invested into keeping and protecting, release that hope and not be overcome by anything that you’ve desired to gain. It takes trust, yet for those who have met Him, there is no person worthy of our trust more than Him.

We as humans have a narrow focus of effort for a certain achievement, limited by a time, place and person. God is much bigger than that, and we have been created a lot bigger than a one-off dream to fulfil the deep desires in our heart.

What is control worth, if it doesn’t lead me higher?

In a high jump runup every step needs to get faster the closer you get to the bar.  Every part of your body wants to slow down and place your arms out as a shield as you crouch for impact. Yet in boldness, freedom and complete readiness, a professional knows how to accelerate towards the bar, resist all the urges to hold back and jump with power, clearing the bar with grace and ease.

This picture is a key of surrendering what is natural to take on the extraordinary.

What I am giving up is not worth comparing to what I am gaining.

Understand that the things that are holding you back from giving your all have to be measured in value against the possibility of the reward.

-If my fear is holding me back from running faster towards the bar, is fear worth holding onto at the cost of that next height?

-Is my comfort of being good at something worth staying in the same place and not progressing, at the cost of looking weak in trying something new? Are appearances that important to me?

The level you surrender is the level you will experience freedom.

Whatever you are unwilling to lay down will always have a hold upon you and quench the progression to reach the fullness you were designed to live in.

Many children start sport because they love the feeling of it and want to one day be the best. It’s a pure kind of dream, but deep down there is a desire for recognition and for fulfilment in what they do. Some get stuck from trying out new training or paralysed in the same place/position/routine because of fear of not reaching the dream.

I believe there is so much freedom to explore and discover what works when you have surrendered those fears to the Lord. You can find a new meaning for why you are in it, and enjoy the journey over the outcome, knowing every day is shaping you, even in injury, disappointments and missed opportunities.

Pursuit 

Now that question I get asked – if I have surrendered something, how can I still be pursuing it? If I have surrendered my expectations, dreams, goals and desires of my sporting career, how am I still training intensely towards it?

  1. My WHY
    Naturally for me this is deeply compelled and sustained through faith. I returned to sport with a motive and direction completely from the Lord, to make Him known and experience Him in every part of it. This WHY is the fuel to my pursuit. When I know why I do something, regardless of emotions, circumstances and hardships that I face, I have a consistent anchor that I can remain consistent in. 
  2. Who it is for 
    Because I have found that commission and direction, I do not put half effort in, I want to give my absolute all. I want to give Him my all and work heartily for Him.
    It is not my own ambition for I am not my own Master, it is not my coach or federation, sponsor or team that forces me to train this intensely. Of course they work hard too, yet they have their own reason why. 
  3. The price paid
    I want it to be costly. The more costly, the more grace-filled and powerful it is. Many times the Lord asks of me a sacrifice that costs me. whether it is emotionally, relationally, financially or even breaking the moulds of time/comfort. But when I do, the Holy Spirit fills me with a joy that is beyond anything else. 
  4. When pursuit meets worship
    To worship Him is the greatest joy, because when we worship – He inhabits the praises of His people. To have Him inhabit my jumping, I am actually seeing Him in it. And for that moment, I would gladly go above and beyond what I would normally be comfortable with. Just to see Him.

    I have been told from people all over the world, that when they turn on the TV to watch me jump, they see supernatural joy and see the Lord upon me! That comes from a prayer of Him filling everything I do when I worship. Putting in my 100% no longer has the fear of disappointment lurking around it, because when it is all worship, I realise the victory is not secured in success, but in a surrendered yes. So I can consistently give more without worrying I will be left without satisfaction. 

In summary, a balance is found when you have found why you are pursuing something, whilst surrendering and entrusting it into the right hands!

The highest of heights are on the other side of your control, if you are willing to surrender it, you will learn to soar.